I often feel like people view getting married as their happy ending. Really it is only the beginning. Happily ever after only comes with a lot of sacrifice and hard work. Marriage isn't about throwing a huge wedding with expensive decorations and food. No matter how in love you are with your spouse when you get married, you better be prepared to work hard or that love will disappear.
As a graduate student just beginning to do couples counseling, I learned quickly that it is rare to find a couple where both partners want to work on their relationship. It felt like counseling was just one more thing to check off their list to say they had "tried" to make things work before they got a divorce. It seemed like they were there to prove that it was the other person's fault that the relationship was ending.
I wish that more couples came in earlier in their relationship when things were starting to get difficult instead of when they were already on their way out the door. In fact, I wish that more states had laws that required couples to get couples counseling when they purchased their marriage license. Sadly, it's more common for states to have laws requiring counseling, especially parent training (if there are children involved),when you get a divorce.
The world we live in is dominated by crisis and whatever shouts loudest for our attention. It would be nice if we made more efforts to prevent problems instead of working on them when they have reached crisis level. I hope that no matter where you are in your relationship you will take the time to continue to date each other and do the work required to make a relationship last. If you think marriage counseling might be helpful for you I hope you will not wait. Do it now!
Marriage is not your happily ever after unless you work every day to make it one.
